omg i don't know i just freaked out

congrats josh

ariel did what. damn shes down to using only one napkin a week, no not the clothe kind, the paper kind. she reuses those starbucks napkins for every lunch.  i guess its like saving the whales ya know, gotta choose: the whales or tibet? right, in this city recycling is just a word. maybe they recycle in west philly. 

or south philly, its the new west philly right, except kinda racist and there's no shade. 

whatever, eh? so last night i was chilling with meryl streep and lisa kudrow, the egg dropped, the milk spilled. it was tense ya know.  you gotta choose: the whales or tibet? lisa wanted to talk about war and prisons, but i rejected that: aren't you the ditz from friends!!!!!!????? lets keep this conversation symbolic.   Don't be getting all bbc.com on me. NATO GREATO! this is simply bummer sticker convo.

mrs. streep was all proper and shit, drinking her tea the way the cat bathes. and i suggested we continued and the bar. they followed me down the deserted streets, cuz norf philly is the fucking war zone. we gotta fend off crack heads like coachroaches in the bathrooom of an old apt. size 6. my jeans. yeah im fat. proabbly shouldn't drink that beer.

After a few specials and some more symbolic conversation, i sugested we go back to bedroom and get naked. they agreed. i haven't been with gurlz for awhile i explained, not since i popped out of my mother dhave i really been around some other womans piece of pie. 

as soon as they saw my sunburned breasts they were out the door. i guess they didn't want to see that pink. 

Enter trash

i am wearing a maternity dress. smoking a menthol rolling tobacco. i have pretty bad gas. life isn't this short. i am wearing my cruiser like a scarf. i barfed seven times last night.

welcome to fishtown baiabaiabai....
im gunna lose some teeth

somethings you can't recycle

2. broken toes
3. dirty underwears -skidmarks = trash.

my feet aren't workin, so im going on a vacay. ill see you when im back, ill be coming from a party.
i'm coming back to start playing some noise. electronic bullshit you know. reverb babai.
I HEART ART SCHOOL!

awww the way this city smells in the summer. the odors of sticky bodies, and the urinary excrement of those of less fortune (or just a fortune of a different kind?) permeate the streets. this city is too windy in the winter, and too stagnant in the summer. aww but its home.

its home. something is missing. maybe it always was. there are flies in the air, the tribal yearnings of the crack heads and street ghosts, still something is missing.

and the artifacts of the internet turn me on. while art bores me and the newspaper is boring. oh but lets split this spliff and fuck. we can pretend we are in a video game, baybay.
dunt worry, the sky isn't the limit its the sky scraper ...cuz that thing cuts. nothing can cut the internet, can it?

Quicki

A quick story to cheer u up::
A guy I just met at a party asked my number (um, never happens by the way) and just txted me to go out. I think I panicked, because I ended up responding by asking if he wanted to start a book club with me.
So far no response.

overheard at the el bar

'There are some,' she said gaily, 'who say, "I love you" with a limp prick. But you, you hate me with a hard-on. That's much better for a woman.'

I quit smoking

in the heat of the summer, skin like diamonds, fat cat stance, and lips of longing and lust: "the circus came to town and we bought a vagina shaman. truth is i needed something to keep the yeast away. nothing will make you feel as unnattractive as trying to bake a loaf in your tails..not so fun gus."

"oh yeah, well then i stopped smoking in my lungs, da el lounge. robin was red, when she heard the truth about second hand smoke. left lung black, right lung white, ass like trina. ya know it gurl.

so the circus came to town today, i picked up some 'tude.

no no no you missheard, not a tune.
though the diablo sang loud about creme eyes and thunder thighs.
i got myself a dose of bitch.
bagged it like some groceries

Kari Ferrell, i gave you aids

overheard at the el bar; sweet young stallion to beautiful asian invasion, a petit korean with tattoos splitting her chest apart.

oh hipster girfter oh nana cocina blinking news, saslafied my evening, heartless hearthrob. how did you manage to wrench yourself through the night and return. follow the trail of diamonds, did you fallow them they glimmer for only those that have the newest iphone.
when i break open, pick my pieces up and scatter them along the outskirts of the land and sea, then rubies will rain and rubies will reign and lions will live among the tamed.

eat my heart, my dear, this is the elbar

Forget the lies, lioness

im so angry at you, there's a rager in my brain and the drugs are outta control, the living room is trashed, the door is broken and im aimless without direction. you left me with nothing. Yo Josh I missyou so much, what happened. between us. what we had was pure, crystal clear, lioness. ultimate. hey merman, i think about you everyday. the heats all turned up and you wont return my phone calls, im cheeseless. we slept together six months ago, no wait it wasn't that long. i remember you came twice. i remember you bought condoms. i was surprised. but not. cause i knew you hadn't slept with neone in a long time.
and then i dressed quickly, i was wearing a scarlet ballgown of hope, and smiled at you..it was fake, the smile.
the way you are the one i respect, the way you are him. it is not a prescription i can get refilled.
i am spoiled, sour, it will never taste good again.




i was your mother, you were my father.

we all forget things, keys wallets iphone blackberries and diamonds. diamonds on trees looking like niblets of cacooing birds. ive got a box of cookies in front me, and its so cold i feel like im on the boat. im eating stars and diamond trails.
josh don't forget me,
josh forgot to call me last night
don't forget again.
so instead of moping in front of the computer, gossip girls and desperate house lives, instead of smoking herbs, i hit the el bar, windy whindy forgotten streets to the warm safe house.
trotting crack heads.
a young boy tapped me on the should, "the time maam" I looked up from my book: i dunt know im sorry
"whats your name"
i looked up again: sad pony
"whaere you heading miss"
none of your business!
he giggled with his friends
"have you been drinking"
NO! i turned scarlet at his accusation leave me alone, i had to work on a sunday
they giggled sum more. do i really reek of failure? oh holden, oh larry davis,
"will you take me home? miss, can i take you home"
oh josh why didn't you call me back!
failure rides uncertainty. im almost there at the el bar. i can see the familiar PBR cans glimmering through the foggy window.
but when i reach the steps i see only pepsi lite.

where in the world

this kid asked josh how to get to the el bar and josh was like duh follow the money trail to rich boy.

im eating stars, bitches

josh proclaimed his love to the merchant, he said, yo cuz, i know yu b feelin it, it's in da air 2nite. let's rumble, hutstuff. ur the star of my ocean.
then he flipped over a table, hopped on a chair and undid his pants.
this is hope.
this is faith.

it is necessity.