...he did WHAT????

Gossip

2010-10-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

TRUE FANTASY FOOTBALL

2009-10-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

TRUE FANTASY FOOTBALL

The kewl kids

2009-10-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

Hip-hop is not dead.

Style update

2009-10-21T14:31:00.001-07:00

DO: belt over cardigan!!!
HAWTTTT!!!!!!!

DONT: gurl's tongue between your tits!!! NOT HAWT!!!

sex nd da citay of brotherly luvin'

2009-10-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

new idea for website: dont/let/my/son/go/down/on/me.com updated biweekly with reviews of pussy songs.

idea number deuce: sexnddacityofbrotherlyluvin.com updated monthly of rape crimes in philadelphia. this is bad.

im going to invite lil wayne to my five year high school reunion. hopefully he can pay for me as well as himself as it is going to cost us $80 total. I just want people to know how cooool i am, considering i live in the only place hipper than bedford st: NORF FUCKIN GRILLADELPHIA

its like i want people to know that im da fuckin shit, even though i dont ride a fixey. i got double breakage too. im mean thats fuckin lame right??

anyway i decided that im gunna wear my coolest outfit: my chucks, skinny torn jeans, paint spattered floral/flannel maternity dress. and probably one of those bike messenger hats that ill swipe from sum dead messenger. who shot the messenger? proabbly some crackhead, right? i plan on also bringing a couple crackheads out to the suburbs i like the emaciated ones that smoke marlboro reds all fuckin day, right?

i'll probably flaunt my EBT card, where it like a charm bracelet or an engagement ring.

Do you think I should get one of those fake pregnancy tummys?

well anyway im gunna bring purple bags and yellow bottles and white bags cause im not planin on makin it rain but i do intend to make it snow!!!!

2009-07-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

"Big buildings are neither phallic nor penile -- residues of a failed attempt to ascribe aymbolic weight to their form. Read as morphological signage, they are best viewed as human excrement that has been piled up. High." (Philip Brophy, Face Up, Berlin, 2003, p125)

Big buildings = big amounts of ppl = big shitzz

2009-06-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER the MICHEAL JACKSON
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<#
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~captured pirates were executed immediately~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
+++++++****************-----------------------------------//////////////////////////////////////////

CARDIAC HANDCUFFFF

omg i don't know i just freaked out

2009-05-30T00:40:00.001-07:00

congrats josh

2009-05-30T00:04:00.000-07:00

2009-05-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

ariel did what. damn shes down to using only one napkin a week, no not the clothe kind, the paper kind. she reuses those starbucks napkins for every lunch. i guess its like saving the whales ya know, gotta choose: the whales or tibet? right, in this city recycling is just a word. maybe they recycle in west philly.

or south philly, its the new west philly right, except kinda racist and there's no shade.

whatever, eh? so last night i was chilling with meryl streep and lisa kudrow, the egg dropped, the milk spilled. it was tense ya know. you gotta choose: the whales or tibet? lisa wanted to talk about war and prisons, but i rejected that: aren't you the ditz from friends!!!!!!????? lets keep this conversation symbolic. Don't be getting all bbc.com on me. NATO GREATO! this is simply bummer sticker convo.

mrs. streep was all proper and shit, drinking her tea the way the cat bathes. and i suggested we continued and the bar. they followed me down the deserted streets, cuz norf philly is the fucking war zone. we gotta fend off crack heads like coachroaches in the bathrooom of an old apt. size 6. my jeans. yeah im fat. proabbly shouldn't drink that beer.

After a few specials and some more symbolic conversation, i sugested we go back to bedroom and get naked. they agreed. i haven't been with gurlz for awhile i explained, not since i popped out of my mother dhave i really been around some other womans piece of pie.

as soon as they saw my sunburned breasts they were out the door. i guess they didn't want to see that pink.

Enter trash

2009-05-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

i am wearing a maternity dress. smoking a menthol rolling tobacco. i have pretty bad gas. life isn't this short. i am wearing my cruiser like a scarf. i barfed seven times last night.

welcome to fishtown baiabaiabai....
im gunna lose some teeth

somethings you can't recycle

2009-05-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

2. broken toes
3. dirty underwears -skidmarks = trash.

my feet aren't workin, so im going on a vacay. ill see you when im back, ill be coming from a party.
i'm coming back to start playing some noise. electronic bullshit you know. reverb babai.
I HEART ART SCHOOL!

2009-05-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

awww the way this city smells in the summer. the odors of sticky bodies, and the urinary excrement of those of less fortune (or just a fortune of a different kind?) permeate the streets. this city is too windy in the winter, and too stagnant in the summer. aww but its home.

its home. something is missing. maybe it always was. there are flies in the air, the tribal yearnings of the crack heads and street ghosts, still something is missing.

and the artifacts of the internet turn me on. while art bores me and the newspaper is boring. oh but lets split this spliff and fuck. we can pretend we are in a video game, baybay.
dunt worry, the sky isn't the limit its the sky scraper ...cuz that thing cuts. nothing can cut the internet, can it?

Quicki

2009-05-14T11:14:00.001-07:00

A quick story to cheer u up::
A guy I just met at a party asked my number (um, never happens by the way) and just txted me to go out. I think I panicked, because I ended up responding by asking if he wanted to start a book club with me.
So far no response.

overheard at the el bar

2009-05-13T07:43:00.001-07:00

'There are some,' she said gaily, 'who say, "I love you" with a limp prick. But you, you hate me with a hard-on. That's much better for a woman.'

I quit smoking

2009-05-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

in the heat of the summer, skin like diamonds, fat cat stance, and lips of longing and lust: "the circus came to town and we bought a vagina shaman. truth is i needed something to keep the yeast away. nothing will make you feel as unnattractive as trying to bake a loaf in your tails..not so fun gus."

"oh yeah, well then i stopped smoking in my lungs, da el lounge. robin was red, when she heard the truth about second hand smoke. left lung black, right lung white, ass like trina. ya know it gurl.

so the circus came to town today, i picked up some 'tude.

no no no you missheard, not a tune.
though the diablo sang loud about creme eyes and thunder thighs.
i got myself a dose of bitch.
bagged it like some groceries

Kari Ferrell, i gave you aids

2009-05-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

overheard at the el bar; sweet young stallion to beautiful asian invasion, a petit korean with tattoos splitting her chest apart.

oh hipster girfter oh nana cocina blinking news, saslafied my evening, heartless hearthrob. how did you manage to wrench yourself through the night and return. follow the trail of diamonds, did you fallow them they glimmer for only those that have the newest iphone.
when i break open, pick my pieces up and scatter them along the outskirts of the land and sea, then rubies will rain and rubies will reign and lions will live among the tamed.

eat my heart, my dear, this is the elbar

Forget the lies, lioness

2009-05-04T15:40:00.001-07:00

im so angry at you, there's a rager in my brain and the drugs are outta control, the living room is trashed, the door is broken and im aimless without direction. you left me with nothing. Yo Josh I missyou so much, what happened. between us. what we had was pure, crystal clear, lioness. ultimate. hey merman, i think about you everyday. the heats all turned up and you wont return my phone calls, im cheeseless. we slept together six months ago, no wait it wasn't that long. i remember you came twice. i remember you bought condoms. i was surprised. but not. cause i knew you hadn't slept with neone in a long time.
and then i dressed quickly, i was wearing a scarlet ballgown of hope, and smiled at you..it was fake, the smile.
the way you are the one i respect, the way you are him. it is not a prescription i can get refilled.
i am spoiled, sour, it will never taste good again.

i was your mother, you were my father.

2009-05-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

we all forget things, keys wallets iphone blackberries and diamonds. diamonds on trees looking like niblets of cacooing birds. ive got a box of cookies in front me, and its so cold i feel like im on the boat. im eating stars and diamond trails.
josh don't forget me,
josh forgot to call me last night
don't forget again.
so instead of moping in front of the computer, gossip girls and desperate house lives, instead of smoking herbs, i hit the el bar, windy whindy forgotten streets to the warm safe house.
trotting crack heads.
a young boy tapped me on the should, "the time maam" I looked up from my book: i dunt know im sorry
"whats your name"
i looked up again: sad pony
"whaere you heading miss"
none of your business!
he giggled with his friends
"have you been drinking"
NO! i turned scarlet at his accusation leave me alone, i had to work on a sunday
they giggled sum more. do i really reek of failure? oh holden, oh larry davis,
"will you take me home? miss, can i take you home"
oh josh why didn't you call me back!
failure rides uncertainty. im almost there at the el bar. i can see the familiar PBR cans glimmering through the foggy window.
but when i reach the steps i see only pepsi lite.

where in the world

2009-05-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

this kid asked josh how to get to the el bar and josh was like duh follow the money trail to rich boy.

im eating stars, bitches

2009-05-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

josh proclaimed his love to the merchant, he said, yo cuz, i know yu b feelin it, it's in da air 2nite. let's rumble, hutstuff. ur the star of my ocean.
then he flipped over a table, hopped on a chair and undid his pants.
this is hope.
this is faith.

it is necessity.

he was at the holidae inn

2009-04-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

whoaaaaaa looks like someone's been busy. sooooo much, too much.

joshattheelbar287: just to fill you in on the recent changes , his new nickname is greekweek
Blogspot: lolololololol
joshattheelbar287: oh and another bomba. i though i was in a time rip
Blogspot: u are not telling me the truth!!!
joshattheelbar287: whatever dude, real shit
joshattheelbar287: "im becoming a normal loser hipster do nothing"
Blogspot: i don't understand you!!!!! you are so high right now
joshattheelbar287: well im still high
Blogspot: did you have the party last night
joshattheelbar287: yeah where was your slutty ass
Blogspot: I thought it was gonna be canceled cuz i couldn't go
joshattheelbar287: uh, yeah right. we canceled the joint , and smoked blunts. next thing start trouble in the waffle house. i did my ica re-deux, i need you to create a miniature art work for it. scale preferably like 1/4 "x 1/4"
joshattheelbar287: listen to this diss
Blogspot: THIS ISN'T REAL
joshattheelbar287: what that shits off the cuff
joshattheelbar287: every thursday we are going to unveil artwork
Blogspot: how shitty is your painting. scale of 1 to 109
joshattheelbar287: ahhhhh
Blogspot: u can tell me. my guess is 80
joshattheelbar287: i was feelin it mad hard. but i was so lifted
Blogspot: whoa man check out that grey GRADIENT. WHOOAAAAAAA
joshattheelbar287: wait wtf. how did you know that happened. im freaked out. Omg. i went off on that lst night. hkdfkskf
Blogspot: whoa
joshattheelbar287: i called it windows 91 lazy pixel waves getting closer to shore. i meant windows paintbrush
Blogspot: aaaaaaaa. i just put that on a blog. i blogged that shit
joshattheelbar287: yo niqua i just blogged dat shitz
Blogspot: nay-ee-kwa. Listen. wanna go with me to this thing tomorrow night
joshattheelbar287: niquan
joshattheelbar287: niquanz
Blogspot: this is rasist
joshattheelbar287: what is it
Blogspot: something with lots of free booze i have 2 tickets
joshattheelbar287: im down
joshattheelbar287: legal 4 the ladies 2 love. http://www.extrart.it/articoli/pic/2326-01.jpg. http://www.nysun.com/pics/1472.jpg
Blogspot: hey guess who doesn't care
joshattheelbar287: sorry theres now faux naive hip hop quotes for you. sir thats not made out of chocolate. You can't eat it
Blogspot: why don't you wear a v-neck
joshattheelbar287: w/o a t shirt so my chest hairs tufts out
Blogspot: a v-neck is a t-shirt?
joshattheelbar287: you’re a t shirt. a dirty one
Blogspot: conveniently placed stains. ewwwwww
joshattheelbar287: i was thinking sweater v
joshattheelbar287: i have one and it makes me look turkish lakeside rave
Blogspot: like leo?

he saved what???

2009-04-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

@ the el bar

2009-04-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

crazy show with beyonce, drums like machine guns, and ciara

2009-04-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

JUMP ON THE BOAT BAI BAI
child beware put on your life vest.
this is fame. this is celebrity. this is love. this isn't hate. this is blogspot.

2009-04-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

iphone acquirement means one can now apply for food stamps while seated at everyone's favorite place, enjoying a philly special, click here

everyone's doing it.

what is love, w?

2009-04-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

twodder

2009-04-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

i saw josh with an iphone at the el bar last night. no one has an iphone unless they are tweeting.

you guessed it.

twitter.com/josh_attheelbar

omg! found baby pictures of josh!

2009-04-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

josh left his baby book at the el bar! we found it!1

jukebox plays by josh

2009-04-22T17:46:00.000-07:00

Spotted @da el bar: hipster grifter

2009-04-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

you can't hide your love away

2009-04-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

the hipster grifter was spotted at fu-wah a few days ago. or was it josh? i forget. whoever it was, i want to take them in my arms and say, "hey. it's okay. you don't have to do this. it doesn't have to be like this. not tonight. not in west philly." or maybe i want them to do that to me? i forget.

everyone thinks they're so clever when they make up little nicknames for that bar next to the el bar, "KFN", you know which one i'm talking about? like, hey, it's such a stupid name already, why don't i make it even dumber by showing how creative i can be with words. tae-bo bow tie? kung fu teaneck? oh, wow, that's so funneee!

sike! it's not funneee. josh and i agreed on this last night, that's why both of us choose the bar with no nickname. the el boat.

last night at the el beezle, josh played papa roach on the juke box. i commented that it was funny to hear a song like that because i haven't heard that song since i stopped hating my parents four years ago. he looked at me curiously, i think maybe i accidentally wasn't speaking english? has that ever happened to you? it happens to me seriously all the time. also i've been having allergy attacks lately. anyways, there we were, lost in translation at the elk bar. ivanco said hi. shortly thereafter josh played that song by garbage, you know, that one "i'm only happy when it rains". i looked at him and said "seriously, josh, what the hell? you are loco. loco en la cabesa." he got really quiet, like that kind of quiet when you make a joke about something and you don't realize it's actually really offensive to the person you told it to? and they don't know how to tell you? like once i asked someone how fast his dad ran and he started crying and i was like "o shit" and he was like "my dad doesn't have legs" (i'm seriously not making that up that totally happened, massachusetts summer 2004). anyweezie, josh looked at me like that when i said the loco thing and he left the bar shortly thereafter. i felt really weird so i asked the cougar bartender why josh would have been offended by that. cougar looked at me.

"josh has meningitis en la cabesa."

@ the el boo

special guest last night

2009-04-21T18:27:00.001-07:00

back with josh tomorrow.

2009-04-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

I've always hung out with the bad seeds. The fast girls, girls that spread like mayonaise. I liked the way they smelled; like nicotine behind the gymnasium...while the rest of the suckers had to run circles and time em. I like the way the boys could drive with their knees, hands free to brush the overgrown hair outta their eyez, on their way to skool. Glazy from the morning haze.

I was never really one of them.
At first I thought I hung around cuz I liked the thrill.

Mmmmmhhmmm.
Cheap thrills. Nahthough thaz nawt rite. cause the real thrill for me i found in the pages of books, notes that know yellow in plastic boxes in my parent's house.

he paused. licked his lips. and scratched his ankles, below the socks.

Maybe thats why I started teaching.

Then I thought it had to with those skoolmates, not being afraid to fail at the things that i was too scared to do anything but succeed at.
Lame. Maybe I was attracted to the disgruntled passion only found in the pimpled angst of rebellion
Some sorta idealized depression that lead only to drug problems, suicide or greatness.

the hair on his legs was dark and thick. It tangled as it crept up aroung his thighs, tangling, entwined, barely hidden from his jean light cut-offs. He took a drag from his cigerate. a bit of ash dropped into the thickect of dark hair, nestling, entangling, protecting. damp.

Recently I realized
cigerate out in ash tray
that i just felt their was something comforting about someone else's denial, orlack there of. I coudln't really tell
legs crossing
I guess we are all in the same boat

He did what; follow up

2009-04-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on the bus back from New York, Josh sat next to an old bearded man. He fell asleep while gropping Josh's ass into a corner. Anyone who looked could see the wood;

I want to take Jesus from the basement, and put him on a pedestal in my castle
and proceed to unwrap his layers of white fabric, until i get down to the last piece of tissue paper
slowly but surely reveal his lanky limbs to the stale musk fire eaten air
unraveling to expose the icy blue fleshclothecoveringbones
when you enter inside dønt, stay as still as a mouse
I want to feel you throbbing in my mouth.
illiterate piece of man
stop trying to hold my hand
dont make eye contact unless you don't mind getting smacked

trading places

2009-04-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, seriously, it's been forever since we updated this thing. days of josh stories to get thorugh. this will never happen again, promise.

last night at the el bar, josh was sizin up an opponent, making some really red-toothed confrontations. it was gettin aggressive, i was sure it would be epic el bar fight #2 (the first one being last december, remember, with those kids from brooklyn? that one was so freakin awesome, i had to throw out my shirt cuz it was soaked in spit). a third party put out the fire, though (i'm talking about last night), so the fists stayed in the pockets. i dunno, maybe it's this spring season that brings out all the anger and rage. it's a self-defense mechanism. it's natural. it's meant for our survival in the herd.

i asked josh for life advice, he said 'yamaha'.

i rode my bike very fast under the el (the septa thing) two afternoons ago. my heart was pumping very hard and my legs were spinning around. i thought that it was how dogs must feel when they run around. all of my muscles were working. my eyes were very focused on the road in front of me, on the cars beside me, on the people near me. heart beating, muscles working, harder and faster. i rode up the streets, cutting around stopped cars, speeding on the median line, flying through red lights. up from market street, up from spring garden street, up from girard. running, coasting, flying. my eyes looked left. josh.

@ the el bar.

2009-04-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

last night i noticed josh sippin on someone's red mixed drink out of a straw.

he found where da party at

2009-04-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

last night josh was on some sort of planet and i wish i coulda followed him there but i had to work in the morning. josh totally saw double, n i don't mean that in like some sorta drunk beerr goggles kinda way, i mean he actually saw like one plane of reality and one plane of somethin else, idk what. but he definitely was makin eye contact with a spirit right next ta me when we were talking. do u know what i mean? i think josh is totally ready for 2010, more than any of us are. lyk, seriously guys, look at us. what the hell r we doing? we're sitting down, talking about cameron diaz, hangin out in the k-hole. we roll in glowstick parties. remember when we all decided that 2k9 was gonna be our sober year exceept for pharms? 2k9 was gonna be the perfect year to trip b/c there are gonna be so many changes and the year's gonna be so conceptual. we were gonna free our minds and sit in a room with our closest altbros while listening to jack johnson on the discman. things don't matter. our brain is just a mass of tissue, makin wonky-ass connexions and percieving the world. life is gonna get easier. we aren't afraid of death. life is just what our minds tell us we are.

n look at us now.

on a napkin last night:
I’m going now. I’m going to a hockey game, which is funny considering my apathy towards hockey. But I heard they get into fights a lot, so I’m going. I should probably be going to a boxing match, but I’m going to a hockey game. I’m going to have a drink first though. A beer. A canadian beer. Keiths? I don’t have any Canadian beer—but I thought it might be more appropriate. Anyway, goodnight, enjoy your night. Love you. -Josh.

@the el bar

Chapter 3: Josh buys a home

2009-04-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

Josh's parents passports were about to expire. So they couldn't go. So
they gave him hundreds of dollars in Costa Rican currency and a
blackberry that his dad is returning post trip and an oral itinerary
regarding reservations at hotels and other sites. Josh doesn't know
any Spanish. He hasn't taken his anti-malarial medication. He will meet his
sister at the airport, perhaps after a drink during the layover in Houston. What is love? This is Josh's world.

He did what??

2009-04-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

Whoa, sorry for the lack of posts lately.

Anyhoops, there's this weird little pink patch of skin on my arm, it kinda looks like a scar or something, which is weird, because it is next to a real scar. But it just appeared today. Anyone know anything about that stuff?

Josh barreled down a one way street the wrong way last night. He was driving his red and blue van. He really looked like something else was on his mind other than driving. I think the kids in the street noticed that too because they got out of the way.

I was thinking about Josh in the summer the other day, and I recalled that picture by Manet, Luncheon on the Grass. Le dejeuner sur l'herbe. Remember Josh last summer? I remember once going with him to Dorney Park to watch our friend Namir play in a family entertainment band there. Namir's a really amazing bass player, and he plays in these really great Philly bands that you have never heard of, like all this free-jazz and prog rock kind of stuff mingled. It's composed noise. It's awesome. So Namir got this summer job working as a bass player in this band at Dorney Park that puts on a show with dancers every hour on the hour for families. They played a 60s/70s medley including "YMCA". Namir had to dress in turquoise sparkly chiffony clothes. The dancers wore vibrant spandex outfits and also sang along to the songs. But they were not the only ones singing, because family members sang too. Namir got us into the park for free. We watched him and I cried because I laughed so hard at how ridiculous he looked, and at how ridiculous the whole spectacle was. Then Josh and I went on some rides while Namir kept playing the same show over and over, every hour on the hour, until the park closed. Josh and I had a great time because Josh, like me, loves roller coasters. We coasted the rollers until our throats were sore from smoking so many cigarettes. We also ate cotton candy that was 25 cents for dinner. Can you believe that? They still make cotton candy. At the end of the night me, Josh, and Namir went back to Philadelphia and stayed up late watching blogspot. I went to bed at 3am. That was my favorite summer day.

brunch in a windy city

2009-04-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

Im surfing the uline catalog. Im looking up, supplies, ya know, for whiting out the rainbow, just sipping on my tropicana.
the internet is offering up a vast array of social outlets, im all up in the novel of minds, yo. cry me a pie, sweetie. so many social outlets today. we aren't real nemore,
yo buffy all dose vampyrs be gone,
dey went to librarys man, dey went to go mess wit dose college gurls.
the weather is pale,the wind's deep scarlet today.

I'm wearing my hood up today.
I just stepped off the triphop boat.
Yo sweettreat, be scared.
the sun isn't gettin ne higher.

He did what???

2009-04-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

Ok heh heh, sorry about that lil maury scare, i'm just gonna say it loud and clear right here, josh is not pregnant. for real.

so newayz, i just saw josh at his desk, typing away at some stuff. we avoided eye contact, i don't know why i did that. but then i was in the hallway and i said his name really loud and stretched out, "joooooshhhhhh!" i don't know why i did that either. i think i just wanted him to acknowledge me an tell me i'm worthy. i've been feelin lately like maybe everyone hates me, like that maybe i'm an evil person and i have a black soul and stuff. like maybe i'm going to hell. and then yesterday i had some friends tellin me that i'm on a crash course downward spiral of self-destruction, and that's really funny to hear, an i lol-ed really hard. but then on my bike ride home i waz thinkin about it and i waz like oh man i think they're right. sooo basically i just feel like maybe im some kind of devil child, and i'm standing in the hallway, and i'm avoiding eye contact with the one person in the world that probably still loves me, probably like the one person in the world who thinks that i still have a heart of gold despite all the shit i've done and the wwrongs i've committed in the past few weeks. i mean, when josh looks at me i just feel like he's some kinda breathless sea creature and he doesnt see the black cloud that looms above my soul, the barren tundra which weighs upon my heart, the meth addiction. and i dont know if he knows that, i mean, i dont know if he knows that when he looks at me and when he talks to me he's the one person in the whole wide world who doesn't sound hateful. i dnt know if he realizes how important he is to me. i've joked around about wanting to marry him and he's always rlly awkward so he's jess like 'haha', but all jokes come from truth, right? the truth is, josh, i really do want to marry you. but yea, back to the story, i said his name really loud in the hall hoping maybe he'd come out of his office and b like 'oh heyyy what's up did i tell you you're a totally great person and btw i love you?' he didn't tho, i think he's working on a paper or something for an upcoming conference, that's what he told me he was up to yesterday. i'm gonna see him later tonight and i think i might tell him all the stuff i just told u, but maybe i'll type it up or write it in a letter and read it to him, cuz otherwise i'd get nervous and forget everything i really want to say.

HE DID WHAT????????????

2009-04-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

@ the el bar.

kings crossing: power at midnight

2009-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

I waz walking home, in the west, where its all hills and valleys, scoops in the landscape.
I decided, cuz it waz super dark and all to call josh, must have missed the el bar. wanted to feel like it waz near.
I heard the pitterpatter of potential danger, or comfort, from behind; it murmurmed: no is gunna hurtz u baibai gurll...
uhhhuuuuhhhhhhhhhh
why you turn around? you got a knife or something?

i shuck my head, no no no, ya know, just wanted to see the face that was hiding in the shadows, just heard it, ya hear, wanted to finish the picture

lips lift from straw, sipping from sour liquid in a plastic navy nautical themed mug, handle like sails: if you dunt got a weapon, dunt look behind you dollface...just huddle up and keep going cream eyes n shoulders close
and then, slowly, he reached into his pockect, and flipped open, growing from his fingers, a tiget toooth sitchblade, long, glistening like the center of tulip tiger eyes with the night air reflected and glimmering, cold rubies

wow, mista king, im not looking to rumble. im going to back up and away, the ducks are crossing man. Wait, not are you trying to impress me mr 10 inch, cuz thats not gunna make me wanna come necloser to your plastic bag breath, thats no way to bring home a lady, mista.

i made josh stay on the phone with me until i was safe inside, behind the doors of my castle. I wanted to be close to the elbar, comforted by its presence on the other side of the phoneline.

he did what???

2009-04-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

joshfromtheelbar278 (9:46:15 PM): so this girl
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:46:18 PM): who is not attractive
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:46:23 PM): she's doable
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:46:24 PM): but yah
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:46:29 PM): not that attractive
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:46:43 PM): and apparently she really wanted to make out with me
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:10 PM): so i thought okay i have to suck it up
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:19 PM): so i made out with her for like five minutes
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:22 PM): then i said okay
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:25 PM): you got what you wanted
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:27 PM): now get the fuck out
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:29 PM): i'm giong to bed
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:48 PM): and then she said "what don't you want more?"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:01 PM): "well why are you asking me, you're the one that wants it”
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:48:54 PM): "what more is there to do?"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:06 PM): "ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I WANT TO SLEEP"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:17 PM): and then she was over by my desk
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:19 PM): i leaned over
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:26 PM): "are you writing your phone number?"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:29 PM): "um..."
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:32 PM): "i don't want your phone number"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:49:48 PM): and then she was bitching about how much of i dick i was
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:50:04 PM): and i said "you were the one who wanted to hook up with me, you got what you wanted."
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:50:09 PM): "but what do you want?"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:50:15 PM): "seriously, pie. you should be making me pie right now"
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:50:24 PM): so she threw a full bottle of water at me
joshfromtheelbar278 (9:50:29 PM): then today when I saw her I pretended not to know her name

He gave me more advice:

2009-04-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

1. i don't think you've been bad to your old boyfriend. you're the one who's leaving him, that puts you in the "mean" position. it's been hard since he's so insistent on you not leaving him. your relationship with him was young and stunted. you are ready to grow.

2. as for sex, i don't think that's normal. i think the penis is intent on getting into wherever it can whenever it can unless there's something blocking it.
`
3. I am your mother. i do not like your new boyfriend as much as your old boyfriend.

-@dabasementofmorgan

...he said Whatt??

2009-04-05T17:03:00.001-07:00

Rules to live by, sweettreat demon

1. spend some time today diffusing your own feelings, by doing something you feel good about, talking to friends, affirming yourself.

2. before engaging in conversation or social interaction of any kind, get to the point where you aren't angry, where you understand that you are a good, strong, amazing person who has a great life to lead, where you are clear and can be unemotional when delivering a message. don't wanna get shot do you?

3. Always speak in a friendly unemotional way, even if your upset or bored. All social interactions should be predetermined by an activity, a plan, an itinerary. This is necessary to avoid falling into a heavy emotional conversation and then, god forbid, sexnasticry.

4. i am your mother.

He drew dis last n8:

2009-04-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

HAIII CARSON:

He did whatttttttttt???

2009-04-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

I ordered a special. Maybe I ordered two of them, under the pretense of ordering for a partner in crime. After I shotgunned the furst beard, i ran into a one of those creamy motherfuckas, like with that creamy thug-like eminem style ganstaskin t-shirt on. I forgot it waz still too earlee to try to take him back for a pedal
i opened narnia up for conversation. flying into the closet and started persuading his smile to falter. that i really waznt †oo eezzzeée. common tears for ears.
we tried to enjoi the last camel fil†er but it was without ne flava. so i settled on the ride home. my dirt bike spitting a little, josh couldnt keep up on his quad-wheeled bøard. and we soared into the ocean, the sand resting silently and gray beneath my toes.
fuck drinking when you can't go home and take out the vibrating flourescent wand and cast spells on all your cats and dogs.
i resign myself to strictly exercise in exchange for enlightenment.
light me up, lil wayne. Im ready for an upgrade.

-@daelbar

He did what?? A frikkin tricky test.

2009-04-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

"It had its moments."
This is what he said. THIS is what he said.
I agreed.
At this point in the conversation, a sophomore girl, similarly familiar, though a much nicer, more attractive person, walks up. I recognize that she, too, was a part of the chimera.
This was Juliet herself.
Josh relates what he just said to her.
She also agrees.

If you wonder why I have not told you about this gem of an encounter for so long, it is because, in all effort to live with these people, I have forced myself to entirely forget their connection to the--hopefully--expired archdaemon that reared its ugly head in Edinburgh.

Da El Boat

2009-04-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

-from da el bar archives
this is just the beginning.

in regard to the photoshoot last night

He did what? Response

2009-04-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

i agree.
he seemed flooded.
the el boat floated him away, into the morning.

He did what??

2009-04-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

josh seemed a little down last night. ne1 kno what's up? he huddled in a corner an mostly kept to himself. we had a good conversation about thumbelina, an he was saying it was supposed to be 'thimbelina' and i asked what the hell a thimble was. he slowly licked his lips, and bided his time. then he said 'i don't know.' at some point he peaced out, swinging the door open with great force and subtlety, his long blond hair flapping in the wind.

@ the el bar

He did what??

2009-04-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

yo this one time josh walked into a room and inside the room it was me and this other guy and we was having seexx and josh just kinda stood there for a litttkle bit, like lookin around and not makin a peep like a lil doormouse kinda in a way. and then after being noticed by the two sexing people (that's me included) josh aksed for some whiskey becaues he din't get enuf when he was at the el bar or something, he wanted something ta wet his whistle. then josh got denied the whiskey by one of the sexers and he was kinda bummed, you could tell even though the room was dark and i was kinda looking away because i didn't want to make eye contact with him cuz i was nakid. but maybe josh didn't notice that or maybe he's just super chill, like he doesn't even care, in some kind of artist way, like, he's like, the human form is beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of. or maybe he was just so blind drunk, idk. one of the sexers told him to get out of the room, an he did but you could tell he was relaly sad, not even relaly about the whiskey, but you could tell he just wanted to hang. oh i forgot to mention no one has any idea how josh made it into the building, like he suddently just somehow totally appeared out of nowhere in this doorway infront of ssexers. anyhoozlers, lil baybee puppy josh facey poo slowly turned around and walked out of the room hangin his head down realll lowwww and i can tell you from xperience i have not never been so sad for another human being and not even that. i was just sad about the circumstances because if i hadnt been busy and shit i totally wollda hanged out with him.

at the el bar.

He did what??

2009-04-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

Josh wet his pants. just a little.
then he bought me a drink for my birthday.

@da el bar